How I got myself this great job at makepositive using LinkedIn – Part – 3
Chapter 3 – The LinkedIn Approach
I browse online on books about careers.
What Colour is my Parachute?
Job Hunting 3.0
The Perfect CV
Writing that powerful LinkedIn Profile.
Etc. etc. etc.
I read reviews. I go to Waterstones, and Foyles, and browse real books. I buy quite a few. And so I get started on my LinkedIn Profile. I look at the list of highly rated profiles and what makes them great. Most look like a list of skills, technologies they know, their ‘passions’ and stuff. Some write about themselves in the third person.
Almost all have good photos. “Profiles with well taken professional photos get more views and have more impact that does that don’t.” Apparently.
The last time I got some photos professionally taken was that of my enormous belly with future lethal ninjas inside (ok not all at the same time). Perhaps I need something a little more conventional. Oh yes, I remember that I used a free makeover voucher and had some photos taken this one time where they did my makeup and hair and nails and tried to charge me an eyeball for the photos that were taken. I did get a few flattering pictures and practiced my negotiation skills so that I only ended up exchanging 5 underarm hairs for the handful of pictures.
I find a suitable one within my archives and decide that I still look vaguely like the person in the picture to be able to get away with it (as long as I upkeep the Nice N’ Easy treatments and stretch my neck so that the jowls disappear). It will need my very limited photoshopping skills to perhaps enhance them slightly.
“Mum.” Ninja #2 (or Twin 2) makes me jump. “What’s wrong with your head on your computer? You look a bit squished.”
In my effort to skinnify the picture, I have made it narrower by about 10%.
“You look very strange, mum.”
Sigh. If I cannot fool my 5 year old, I will definitely not fool anyone else.
“Err, something’s wrong with my laptop.” I mumble.
“And what’s wrong with your eyes? Who coloured it in?”
“Well, I got myself a free makeover, you see. That’s where they try to make me look pretty for pictures. They’ve used an eyeliner to line the top of my eyelids make my eyes look bigger because I’ve got Chinese eyes. Otherwise it will just look like I’ve got happy moon eyes.” I smile and my eyes disappear.
“Now, go practice using that shuriken on that slab of Costco chicken until you can cut through with one swish.” He wanders off.
Feeling embarrassed, I press Ctrl-Z a number of times until I have undo-ed all my fiddling’s and take it back to the original picture. Of course, I could have just reloaded the original image, but that would have been far too easy.
Next, I start thinking about the profile. Shall I do it the same way as the other highly rated ones?
No, I think that I will do it a different way. And so I pretend to be a journalist wanting to know about Me. I pretend to ask myself questions and answer them as if I am an all-important celebrity.
I have fun with it. I don’t want to be all serious and stuffy. I am not quite sure if I am doing the right thing, but I do know that I don’t want to reduce myself to a bulleted list of skills and technology that I am familiar with, or project methodologies with loads of words like “motivated, highly driven individual who gets results”.
I write and re-write over and over again to keep it under the 2000 character limit of the LinkedIn Profile. And then, I hit ‘Publish’.
From here, I get a lot more people wanting to be connected to me, as well as InMail (LinkedIn’s internal messaging system) with real job leads. A few random people want to connect because they find my profile amusing.
Ah. Now things are getting more interesting.